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Ouroboros

This was one of those weeks. It’s been all up, down, up, down…

Monday: was Monday. Enough said.

Tuesday: o hai! I’ll be your migraine today and make you want to die.

Wednesday: Joy! Krispy Kreme donuts! Then: water main break, building evacuated, working from home. Followed by "Hi there, it’s your migraine again! Don’t worry, I’ll never leave you." At least the retching into the toilet seems to entertain the cats. They like to gather in a little line outside the door and keep an eye on me.

Thursday: The cats get concerned when I sleep more than the usual 2.5 hours and perform a pulse check at 4:30 AM. Little doods, I just fell asleep finally at midnight! Gah! At work the suckitude increaseth and it’s totally my fault because I spaced on a project. Then I get a  handle on that and the group of dysfunctional spoiled brats that make up one of my customer groups blows a gasket because they 1) can’t read and 2) don’t understand the concept of rounding of decimals. The up was a paint-your-own pottery party. I made a bowl that is a very dark teal green. Hopefully.

Friday: get to wait for bus in sleet, which is always a fun time. spend day chanting mantra “I just have to make it to 5:30”. I eat a lot of food that is bad for me. I finally start to feel somewhat excited about the social thing I’m doing tomorrow. I get to call my mom for a recipe. I watch a marathon of “The Big Bang Theory”.

Tomorrow: I have to clean and also BAKE A CAKE. I haven’t baked in at least 7 years. But it are my birfday, dammit, and I want a cake with purple fucking icing. So that is what I am making. And tomorrow night, I will be eating said cake and drinking Buzzed Aldrins (though not at the same time) and laughing and talking with friends and it will all be better.

Won’t it?

More importantly, WHAT WILL I DO UNTIL THE NEXT SEASON OF "THE BIG BANG THEORY" IS RELEASED?

Birthdays and Santa

Here I am, officially 38 years old. This is the first year of my life (well, since childhood) when the days I wanted to die didn't outnumber the days I did not. That sounds harsh and horrible, but it's true and it represents a really really huge thing for me. This year has had some serious stressors and shitty days, weeks, months and yet that overwhelming despair seemed to just be...gone. I can't even really say what changed: not medication, not new relationships, not really anything solid. Except me. I've changed. And I'm just going to be glad of the change.

I spent a marvelous birthday weekend with family, including my bro and two younger nephews. I think 8 year-old and 6 year-old boys just suck energy right out of the air and the people they run past because I'm exhausted from just watching them for 2 days. I got a special birthday dinner of pot roast and smashed potatoes and corn (yuummmmm!) and we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and it was a pretty damn good celebration all the way around.

And this coming weekend I will have good friends over for food and drink and fun and I expect it to rock as well. With any luck there will be another impromptu poetry reading.

As promised, here are some pictures of Santa Gussie. Santa Gussie is a very confused cat.